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Thursday, June 18, 2009Y

It has been a busy week for me...... sunday..father's day celebration.. then met up with ly,hanjie n meng for dinner just to catch up.. tuesday went out with mum n uncle big... and soo on.... hvent got hte time to upload the father day pics.. not alot too..

so... cant be btohered... finally after soooo sooo many months..... i get to sleep.. went to get sleeping pills from a doctor.. tho i still wake up in the middle of the nitee... the drowsiness slowly put me back to slp... i woke up feeling ok... not grouchy n frustrated..

u see..each time u get an insomnia.. u get worried of feeling tired the nxt day.. then u worry if u can sleep again the nxt nite.. argh.. it works as a cycle...

once again.. im sitting alone in my cold cold office.....

i really hate the loneliness... i wished for someone to tok to.. i can only tok to pple on msn.. but its not all the time htey are free..

yea.. ive colleagues... but i dont really click with them... to the point.. i felt i shld just eat alone too...

i don tknow wat lies ahead of me.. hai

to tis point of time.. i dont know wat i want to do in my life... yesh.. i wanted education..

cldnt get to NIE.. cldnt get to Pathlight.. cldnt get thru the allied educator...

i got a chance at rainbow.. but hte tot of cleaning up.. u know.. poopoo etc... it turned me off... and the pay was tooo low.... if its a far location... at least gimme slightly higher pay.. for i be on the roads for like 3-4 hrs a day.....

then now ive a chance to work in a childcare.. and guess wat.. im having 2nd thoughts... childcare is like a mother's job.. u are doing a mother's job for others.. u bath the kid.. u feed the kid...u clean the pee poo n puke.. and again.. the tot of pee poo puke turned me off yet again....

on one hand im desperately trying to get out of here

on the toher hand.. ive doubts over myself and the nxt offer presented in front me... then u will ask me..WHY DID U APPLY TAT CHILDCARE THEN!

argh.. i just wanted to open another option for myself.. then it becomes another headache......

THEN NOW WHAT YOU WANT?

argh.....

u see..many of u may envy me....... but i just find my current job tottallllly not me... work is manageable... pay is gf.... but i just cant take hte loneliness.. i nd someone to tok to..

at least sometimes hanjie or chee meng or alaska will give me a call to chat up.. but haix

im totally frustrated with myself.....

hai.. im looking forward to having dinner with my bf.. and tomorrow's outing iwth bing jaw huda n wei xiong...


Thursday, June 18, 2009 Photobucket