Have been quite down... Partically bothered by my results yet again..as the release date crawls itself towards me..i feel my heart becoming heavier n heavier.... Sigh... Its quite .. hai..dont know wat to say...cos nothing can describe my feelings now..
All the while my results arent gd...with added effort, i tot i could handle the exan qtns better...but ren suan bu ru tian suan .. Meaning heaven predicts better than humans. In the exam hall, im still shattered by wats laid in front of me.. perhaps im not really tat cut out to be a degree student... It gets harder when most pple around u are doing well except urself.. it just felt like a mis-fit... Its even harder for someone who never fall down b4 to understand wat u are going through....
Sigh. i dont wish to comfort myself.... Prayed hard... i wonder wats in front of me tats for me.... The path is just so blurry... I dont really know wat i wan in life...Perhaps ive stopped listening to my heart for a very long time......And now even if i want to listen to it, i guess it just shut itself away from me.... Its kinda aimless... I looked forward to my short term goals like completeing a exam..getting over the holidays..nothing much of a long term plan...
Sometimes i wonder if my prayers are heard... Sometimes i wonder why do i fall... Sometimes i wonder why my hard work doesnt pay off... Its quite sad...since i could remember... i know im a hardworking student..but never an excellent grade achiever.... Perhaps ive studied through a wrong method... I changed my method of studying..but it still didnt work much..i guess...if not i wont be so pessimistic over my results now... Sometimes i wonder how can i be happier.. No..im not gona rely on anyone on happiness..
Hai..dear heaven...wat is life....
But from wat i knw of, life isnt fair at all....
perhaps i shld be happy with wat i get and dont expect much in life...maybe i will be a happier person...