Lolx. Currently trying to digest this whole mambo jumbo post by yunhaier. Anyway, i leeched this from a bloggie dedicated to her. Heres the address, www.yunhaier.blogspot.com. =X Basically, i have the similar qtn.. and the qtn is
How many "wrong" partner u meet before u can find ur Mr or Miss RIGHT?
YunHaiEr: I think firstly, we need to define what's 'wrong' or what's 'right', when in fact, to me, it's all the same. I think for a start, we should learn to love our significant other/s like our last because it's pretty sad to know that here you are loving someone and there you are wondering at the back of your head if he/she is the 'wrong' one.
You made your choice; accepted every variable presented and was given a choice to consider them.Whether he/she is 'wrong' - that is the crucial time to consider carefully. If that consideration only comes after acceptance, you are putting the cart before the horse, and obviously it is a question of 'wrong choices' and not 'wrong person'.
I wouldn't call it lowering of expectation - I call it gradual self discovery and understanding through others, which will in turn fine tune our expectation and ideology towards Love. If you have a possessive freak that began to see possessiveness as a flaw and take steps to amend it, by your definition, that would constitute 'lowering of expectation' when in fact, it is for the better of him, don't you think?
Ultimately, it's still freewill.
If people are accepting each other merely because of external pressure and calling them 'right' - then they shall learn the truth of it... either to live with the truth or die by its blade. Some may argue that it's impossible for know if someone is suitable unless you are in a relationship with him/her.
It's true - I wouldn't be able to tell 100% as well. But like EVERYTHING ELSE IN LIFE, nothing is absolute. It doesn't mean we eliminate consideration and avoid taking calculated risk just because we won't know.
P.S: Our love life doesn't have a destination. In fact, the destination depends on the route we opt to take. If we could turn back time and pick another choice, everything else will change and we see ourselves in new 'destination/s'.
If we have to meet a few 'Mr/Ms Wrong' before a 'Mr/Ms Right' - being part of the equation, shouldn't the 'wrong' be 'right' because eventually, we still believe that it does lead us to our 'Mr/Ms Right', isn't it?
(Like mathematics, the solution lies not just merely in the answer, but also the component/s of our working steps before we derive the eventual answer).